A Third, Invisible Option That Could Change Everything

Today, I want to share with you one of the secrets of the universe. Well, that was quite dramatic. Let me try again: I want to share an "aha" moment that has drastically changed the way I choose.

It involves a third, invisible option that we aren't trained to see.

Take a little trip with me in your mind, okay?

It's Saturday morning. You've stopped into the Nordstrom Rack to pick up a pair of sunglasses for your tropical vacation coming up next week. (Pretty good so far, right?) While you're there, you see a super cute pair of pink pumps on sale for $95 that would make a fantastic addition to your closet.

Instantly, your mind presents you with a question: "Should I buy the shoes?" And automatically, your logical mind engages in a process of deciding whether or not to buy them:

• "They would go with two of the dresses I'm taking on the trip!"
• "I've always wanted a pair of pink pumps!"
• "I'm supposed to be saving for spending money for the trip."
• "I'll have to put them on my credit card today, but I can pay them off next month."
• "You only live once! Get the shoes!"

While all this chatter is going on in our minds, there's a third, invisible option our binary brains aren't trained to see. We instantly go into the yes-or-no of the shoes but never stop and ask: "If I had $95 in my hand right now, what would I choose?"

Pink pumps? A massage on your tropical vacation? Investing in your retirement account? Groceries for the week? There's no right or wrong here. This isn't about guilt. It's about opening your mind to a set of choices you couldn't previously see.

When I started interrupting my binary decision-making with this third, invisible option, so much opened up for me, not only with spending and money, but also with time.

Imagine this: your friend calls and asks if you want to meet up for happy hour after work. Immediately, your brain kicks in with a list of pros and cons to get you to a yes or a no.

Or you could ask: if I had three extra hours available in my day, how would I choose to spend them?

The third, invisible option may bring up all sorts of choices you hadn't thought of before your friend asked about happy hour, like:

• Taking a walk after work, then going for a smoothie
• Spending an hour on the book project you've been neglecting
• Taking your kids to the bingo game at your neighborhood burger spot

Again, there's nothing wrong with happy hours or pink pumps! My hope is that once you see the third, invisible option, you'll feel empowered by all the choices available.

Here's a challenge for you: find one time this week when you can unlock a third, invisible choice. What was it like? Did anything change for you?